Tuesday, December 23, 2003
Addenda
I must be doing SOMETHING right. Or wrong. Or...ugh.
Today I have spoken (at great lengths) with the following people:
Paul - My boyfriend
Michael - the guy I met over Thanksgiving
Brad - a guy that I used to date back in 1999.
and the clincher: Ahmad!
Ahmad just called me to tell me that he is finally over me and willing to be friends. I haven't spoken to him since he cut me off back in August. Remember the story? He was in love with me and was no longer interested in just being friends.
Well, well, well...look who came around?
I told him that I am "apprehensive" to talk to him again and that it will take some time before I feel as though I could be a part of his life. He understood, but informed me that he misses me and would like to have me in whatever capacity I could allow.
Truth is, I am not interested in Ahmad anymore. That whole situation gave me agida for months. But friends? Maybe down the road. I gotta process this whole thing first.
Okay, one question.
Am I an uber stud?
Or
Am I a love hatin playa that gets his kicks off of making other boys love him?
Probably the second one. But...ahhhhhhhhhh!
How did all this happen?
I need to go home for Christmas now and think about all of this. You know, if I were single, this situation would be something that I would revel in. But since I am not single, I just feel ugly and guilty.
Just have to remind myself that everything happens for a reason.
I must be doing SOMETHING right. Or wrong. Or...ugh.
Today I have spoken (at great lengths) with the following people:
Paul - My boyfriend
Michael - the guy I met over Thanksgiving
Brad - a guy that I used to date back in 1999.
and the clincher: Ahmad!
Ahmad just called me to tell me that he is finally over me and willing to be friends. I haven't spoken to him since he cut me off back in August. Remember the story? He was in love with me and was no longer interested in just being friends.
Well, well, well...look who came around?
I told him that I am "apprehensive" to talk to him again and that it will take some time before I feel as though I could be a part of his life. He understood, but informed me that he misses me and would like to have me in whatever capacity I could allow.
Truth is, I am not interested in Ahmad anymore. That whole situation gave me agida for months. But friends? Maybe down the road. I gotta process this whole thing first.
Okay, one question.
Am I an uber stud?
Or
Am I a love hatin playa that gets his kicks off of making other boys love him?
Probably the second one. But...ahhhhhhhhhh!
How did all this happen?
I need to go home for Christmas now and think about all of this. You know, if I were single, this situation would be something that I would revel in. But since I am not single, I just feel ugly and guilty.
Just have to remind myself that everything happens for a reason.
